Understanding women in relationships is not an oxymoron. Understanding women in relationship is highly possible and surely probable as long as you've got one thing: what I call The Happiness Quotient.
What exactly is the key to understanding women in relationships? How exactly is women's enlightenment the key to "save the world?"
I know for sure it doesn't mean a lot of women ACTING enlightened, or behaving in the "enlightened" fashion de jour. Acting enlightened, rather than living it as our truth, tends to just make us more cranky and frankly, un-enlightened. To me, the key is a whole lot of women fed by the realization of who they are, awake to their nature, alive with the privilege of being a woman, full of light, turned on (rather than off); turned up (rather than down); hooked up to our passions and desires; and then living, acting and behaving from there. I also know that they key to enlightenment, especially for women, lies also in our full joy and happiness.
In the section, Men In Relationship, in my website, I not only give men the keys to support and bring about women's joy and happiness, but also the essential skills and tools for men to simply be happy and successful themselves in relationships.
I've spent much of the past eight years throwing myself headlong into research of the seemingly elusive condition, happiness. Through varied trainings, studies with folks who've been studying happiness for the past 40 years, work with clients and testing it all out on myself and my own relationship, I've come to a glorious conclusion: the health of a group, whether that is as large as a culture or as small as a relationship or family, can be measured by the happiness of the women.
When the women are happy, everyone is happy; when they women are unhappy, somehow no one else is happy. However, if you look around in your own life experience, you'll likely notice that many, maybe even most, women around you are shut down and pissed off. Maybe you've never even seen what a happy, radiant woman looks like.
There is no universal standard of happiness; you know when you are happy and when you are not. Generally, though, as defined by the veterans I've studied with, happiness is a function of appreciating what is so, not what you wish to be so. When you find your life and yourself good, right and wonderful, you are happy.
When you find your life and yourself bad, wrong and miserable, you are unhappy.
Our cultural, societal, economic, emotional, medical, sensual - and many spiritual - belief systems are all prejudiced to reference the male as standard. We also live inside of a "top dog, bottom dog" paradigm. The top dog has the power, the bottom dog doesn't; and power is defined by power over another. As many advances and liberations as women enjoy currently, we are still defaulted to "bottom dog" status in the hierarchy. Often, any straying from these standards is considered deviant.
So women, like other oppressed groups, have learned - as those considered to be deviants from the norm learn - that it is not necessarily safe to be as we are and that we are not fully welcomed as we are. We cannot have full power as we are. We have learned, however subtly or overtly, that since the playing field is not equal, the easiest option is then to lie, cheat and manipulate to make up for the unfair advantage in order to get what we want. We have also learned that what we want is not important; we have learned to bury what we want - or we attempt to not want at all. The result is a bunch of shut-down, cut-off and royally pissed-off women, swimming in a sea where we are constantly found wrong and bad; hungry, unhappy and depleted at most every level.
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Source: http://www.online-dating-smarts.com/understanding-women-in-relationships-the-happiness-quotient
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